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05 September 2010 @ 07:13 pm
Labor Day Weekend Update  
*I started this post this morning, but wasn't able to finish it until this evening.  Ah, life.


Picked up Dexter S4 at Best Buy yesterday on blu-ray.  It's one of the handful of shows the husband and I actually watch together, so after jam making, we mainlined the first disc last night ("date night" for us this weekend).  How is this show seriously still so awesome four seasons in?  Also, they so love to suck you in to the next episode by ending on shocking cliffhangers.  It's a good strategy.


This is me, officially asking my beta readers to poke me and pester me about getting on with the damn rewrite.  Cause books don't write themselves, and I'm well over the surgery now.  Maybe instead of being poked, I need to be beaten with a stick at this point.  It's too easy to let me hobbies distract me, damn it.  


Today is my niece's first birthday.  We got her a rocking horse. :)  We'll be leaving shortly to go eat cupcakes and watch her be cute. 

*takes deep breath*

So, the husband and I have decided to explore adoption.  It's been a really difficult decision to make.  I have issues with adoption that spring from a bad childhood experience.  My parents adopted a five year old little boy that had attachment disorder.  No one knew what it was back then, and no one told my parents about the series of abusive foster homes he went through.  It was a nightmare I don't even care to go into.  I'll say this:  I used to have nightmares about him killing my family in our sleep.  Yes, that's how bad it got.  

So, you should have some small idea of how hard it was for me to even come around to this.  But I just don't think I can do the donor egg and in vitro thing.  I don't think I can go through that emotional roller coaster, pay all that money, and then what if it doesn't work?  I don't think I can take another crushing disappointment like that.  Mark and I talked, and we both thought about it, and we've decided to look into adopting a baby.  Yes, I know this could take a long time, and I know it's expensive.  But it's either a baby, or nothing.  I won't risk another situation like the one I grew up with.

So, yeah.  That's kind of where stuff is at right now.  Time to actually post this and think about making dinner.
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Nuquiet_rebel on September 6th, 2010 02:21 am (UTC)
Good luck with the adoption stuff!
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:03 pm (UTC)
Queen of the Skiesqueenoftheskies on September 6th, 2010 03:05 am (UTC)
I wish you well with the adoption. I can tell from your posts that you have a lot of love to give a little one.
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you. We'll see what happens.
i teach sunday school, motherfucker.: mother daughter by fixatedrandomeliza on September 6th, 2010 03:08 am (UTC)
I remember you writing about your issues with adoption, and your reservations are totally understandable. But I am thrilled that you have decided to look into it more - you are such a brilliant, loving person and you will make someone a fantastic mother. There is an incredibly lucky yet-to-be-born kid out there who is going to hit the jackpot if you decide that this is the right decision for you and Mark! Please keep us posted.
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:05 pm (UTC)
I will. Thank you, Eliza. I assume this is going to take some time, but I'm about to start researching agencies and the like.
The Teasemastertinylegacies on September 6th, 2010 03:14 am (UTC)
I'll be sending good thoughts to you guys. I also have a friend who has done two international adoptions from China. If you are interested in hearing his experiences, I can put you in touch.
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 03:57 pm (UTC)
That would be amazing! We are open to either International, or within the US. I hear either one has it's pros and cons.
Miss Crankypants: Hot Fuzz Let's Do Thisaka_paloma on September 6th, 2010 03:28 am (UTC)
Oh, honey! Best of luck on the baby adoption. Lots of prayers and hugs and crossed fingers will be directed towards you and Mark.

(And I don't know that it's possible for Dexter to NOT be good. Season five is coming up in a few weeks! Woo hoo!)
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you. sweetie!

I think Dexter is one of those shows we don't like waiting for week to week, hence we watch the seasons all at once on DVD. But yeah, consistently high quality.
(Anonymous) on September 6th, 2010 04:36 am (UTC)
From Paula:
I am amazed by your decision and happy for you both. You two are going to be great parents and any child will be lucky to have you. I will try to tell them how lucky they are each time I see them.
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:01 pm (UTC)
Re: From Paula:
Aw, thank you Paula! :)
(Anonymous) on September 6th, 2010 05:46 am (UTC)
I think it's so amazing that you're considering adoption, especially considering your experience with it (which I can only imagine was an unbelievably difficult experience.) Everyone's experience is obviously different, but my younger sister was adopted and she's just the love of my+my family's life, so I'm generally a big supporter of adoption. I think whatever you decide to do, you're wonderful for even thinking about it—it's such a hard thing to even consider, and it takes a lot of compassion to seriously give mind to. All the best and good luck.
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) One of my husband's good friends was adopted, and like your sister, he loves his family and they love him unconditionally. I think his experience is one of the reasons my husband is even willing to try.
(Anonymous) on September 6th, 2010 05:47 pm (UTC)
That's so wonderful. I just want to stress, even if you don't go through with it, it takes a special kind of person to consider it, which you clearly are ;-)
(Anonymous) on September 6th, 2010 05:57 pm (UTC)
(also I said "experience" like 10 times in that last post, and I know more English, I promise.)
kistha on September 6th, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
Sweetie, why didn't you say anything?

We'll talk later. Much loves to you!
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 03:55 pm (UTC)
I don't know. For awhile there, I was just letting Mark think, and I was kind of assuming his answer would be no. Now that he's given the go ahead, it's been hard to say it to anyone, really. I was planning on telling you when you guys are here in a couple of weeks. I didn't actually plan to put it on LJ, either. I just sort of did. I think maybe Rosalia's b-day yesterday was a trigger, or something.

Patron Saint of Pessimism: Dogs: Deuce smilingwoodrunner on September 6th, 2010 12:07 pm (UTC)

*HUGS* on the decision to look into adoption.


Here's your obligatory kick-in-the-ass to get back to writing: *KICK*
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I needed that. :D
Sandy Williamssandy_williams on September 6th, 2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
First, yes. Get on that book-writing now! You left me hanging with only half the book, and I'm dying to learn how the story turns out.

Second, the adoption thing: *hugs* I know there's a ton of emotional turmoil that goes into making that decision. My husband wants me to try in vitro, so I'm doing that once and then I'm finished with all the needles and crap. I know adoption can be a long process, but it'll be totally worth it in the end.
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks, for both the kick and the hugs. Good luck to you as well. We wrestled with in vitro for a long time before I finally just said I didn'ty think I could handle the disappointment if it didn't work. On the other hand, Mark's brother and sister-in-law did in vitro, and ended up with twins. I think if we could use my eggs, it would maybe be a different decision. Maybe. I don't know. I think everything about fertility issues is emotional turmoil. {{HUGS}} And if you ever need someone to talk or vent to during this process, who's at least been in the same decision-boat and knows some of the process, please feel free to ping me.
Dragonsinger: Dani - Original YA story - ithikadragonsinger on September 6th, 2010 02:10 pm (UTC)
I think trying to adopt a baby is a wonderful decision. That way you can begin at the beginning. (((HUGS))) I hope you find the right one.

And, even though I'm not a beta reader, get on with the damn rewrite already. ;) I want to see this book in print.
rhienellethrhienelleth on September 6th, 2010 04:12 pm (UTC)
Hee. Thanks. :)
Dragonsingerdragonsinger on September 6th, 2010 11:39 pm (UTC)
Well, you are a step ahead of me. You've actually queried. I'm gearing up to face rewrites.

My goal is to start querying by the end of 2011.
Fatemafatema on September 6th, 2010 04:19 pm (UTC)
*HUGS* What a big decision, indeed. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you get a baby that you two can love and raise from the beginning ASAP.
celli on September 7th, 2010 04:57 am (UTC)